Tinies

If you have read this blog, you know I love doing tiny cross stitching in between bigger projects. Here are some cuties I've worked on in the past. These are from Makoto Oozu, who is the master of tiny embroidery. 

Portlandia

I found this pattern on a site that I refer to as Iotacons. The artist makes pixel art of different people, and since I love Portlandia, I made it long ago, and then a friend of mine said she wanted me to make her one, so I just gave her this one. It's Fred and Carrie. I may have to make myself one now that I see this one!

Blast From the Past- Embroidery

Wild Olive Coffee Hanging

Memory Lane

I was going through my blog for the heck of it and noticed I did not post pics of all of the onesies and stuff I did years ago, back in 2011, so here are some more cute little things i did! Some of the pics are blurry because this was still the time of digital cameras and so getting a good close-up was not my strong suit. These are from a Japanese embroidery book. I made onesies and I made some burp cloths (eww).

Horror Whore

Horror movies have been a huge part of my life. I grew up watching horror movies, because my mom is a horror fanatic. I also read a lot of horror novels (most of them probably NOT being what I needed to be reading that age). I love talking about them, discovering them, sharing them, and especially watching them while I do craft stuff.

I have hoarded many horror themed patterns, but here are some of the ones I’ve actually done, and I’ll credit the designer where I can.

“Sometimes, Dead is Better”- Pet Sematary- StarKissedJade on Etsy

Freddie Krueger- A Nightmare on Elm Street (one of my favorite horror franchises)

Jason Voorhees- Friday the 13th- Pattern from Iotacons

May Zombies Destroy this House Last- JackTheStitcher on Etsy

We All Float Down Here- Stephen King’s IT- Found this one on Pinterest

I have many more, but I need to save them for another day.

To The World...

To say I am obsessed with Good Omens is an understatement... I had this pattern custom made aby PixelsInStitches on Etsy. This is from the first series and it captures the Angel Aziraphale with his flaming sword (that was "flaming like anything") and the Demon Crowley with the window handle to his 1928 Bentley, as they go to stop Armageddon (Spoiler, not sorry).

Stitch Witch

I'm a witch. Now that we have that out of the way, I'd like to express my joy that there is no lack of witchy designs online and I'm lovin it, lovin it, lovin it. I think this one is from Junebug and Darlin on Etsy. I don't know why, but those letters gave me hell! And there goes the shitty framing job for which I'm so famous in this house.

This is one from an online friend of mine who goes by The Heathen Homesteader. She has an Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheWellAndSpindle

I think this is from StephXStitch on Etsy

I found this one on Pinterest and mocked it up myself. I love the way the variegated floss looks in the lettering!  I don't love how you can't see that in pictures.

This took forever. It's less "witchy" and more pagan. It's from LovelyStitchArt on Etsy.

Finally, this is from The Witchy Stitcher.

I hoard patterns, so many more to come!

Wuv Twoo Wuv

I have THE coolest husband ever. He puts up with my moodiness. He puts up with me endlessly doing cross stitch and embroidery when he's trying to watch something. He is supportive and funny and sweet and thoughtful and the CUTEST ever. I like to make him cute cross stitches for Valentine's Day and I try not to miss a year (though I have in the past...). He has made a collage in our bedroom of every piece of art I have ever done for him. Here are some of the things on the Wall of Love. I just sort of stitched this one up from an online alphabet.

I believe this is from The Witchy Stitcher and I remember giving it to him WAAAY late...

I can't remember where I got this one, but it was on Etsy, I'm pretty sure.

I'm sure I'll find more of these, digging through my photos.

Flashback Stitches

For longest time, I just did a bunch of snarky cross stitch patterns that were mostly cross-stitched letters. I have since stretched my wings and branched out into a bit more complex pieces. But here are some cute ones I did way back in the day. 

 
I copied this one from Pinterest but I had to alter it because the way it was created, it was obviously created to say "I never finish anyth" and I wanted it to look like a truly unfinished cross stitch.

I did this so long ago and I can't remember who created this pattern. I can't find the original on my computer. But it's 100% accurate.

Really Cross Stitch

I wouldn’t actually say I’m a feminist. I believe in gender/gender fluid equality, I am proud to be a woman, I am all about the divine feminine and women’s power, and you will often hear me talk about how men have so totally fucked us beyond any hope of repair.. Wow, I guess I sort of am a feminist, I’m just a bit more quiet about it. Anyway, I bought this book a couple of years ago called Really Cross Stitch by Rayna Fahey. The patterns are political in nature, which I didn’t actually realize when I purchased it, but that’s okay, because political cross stitch will always be a thing. So far, I’ve done four pieces from this book. I kept two and gifted two. This is my favorite piece from the book, and I wanted to do it for my sister, because, well. However, while my sister is one to stand up when she sees injustice, and of course is super into woman power, she’s not got the activist energy that my other friends do. So I did this one for my friend Liz.

I did this one for a friend, but decided to keep it because it’s from a show called Father Ted, and I think it’s funny. I did her another one…

This one I did for my friend Rebecca. She’s a Star Wars fan, and this quote has been stitched and plastered all over Genereal Leia merch. I love the sentiment, and I love how it’s associated with General Leia (she was my hero when I was a little girl), so I thought it was more appropriate for her than the other one, though I can totally hear her saying “Down With…This.. Sort of Thing..”

And this is hanging in my bathroom. The guy who came in to redo our shower thought it was hilarious.

The Witchy Stitcher Cryptid Stitch-Along: La Chupacabra

Tales of a mysterious monster that sucks the blood of livestock have exploded in Mexico, the US Southwest and even China.  The Chupacabra was first reported in Puerto Rico.  The Chupacabra has been described as either reptile or dog-like or a combination of both.  It is mostly hairless and has a pronounced spinal ridge, unusually pronounced eye sockets, fangs and claws.  It has been credited with strange attacks on goats, sheep, rabbits, horses and chickens.  The attacks happen mostly at night, leaving the animals devoid of blood, with oddly vampire-like punctures in their necks.- The Witchy Stitcher, Cryptid Wiki, National Geographic

Anglophile

I’m a huge Anglophile. I love a lot of things about the UK. Their snacks, their accents, their sayings, their funny little ways.. and probably most of all, their TV.

Steve Coogan’s Alan Partridge character has a special place in my heart. I think he’s so funny, so when I found this cross stitch pattern by 8bitNorthStitch, I knew I had to do it.

Another good British show that I could watch over and over again is Broadchurch. David Tenant is just… perfect, and so is Olivia Coleman. Oh, and Jodi Whittaker. I love them all, and that series was gut-wrenching and perfectly cast and acted. David Tenant plays Alec Hardy, a cranky asshole Scottish detective who obviously hates life. He has a few kind of funny lines, although the show is a crime drama and not a comedy, but one that stood out to me was “BLOODY TWITTAH!” Not because it’s funny, but because the way he said it was funny. I was making a cross stitch dude, I can't remember why, maybe I was trying to make Allen, but I realized  I’d accidentally made Alec Hardy.  I thought "Oh, this is happening!" and added “Bloody Twittah!” under it.  Also, since Twitter was purchased by a lunatic, and he renamed it, this one contains a bit of history too.

Finally, my two favorite alcoholic drug users- Pasty and Eddie from Absolutely Fabulous. I discovered this show in the mid-nineties, I think on Comedy Central. My idiot boyfriend at the time (who can't allow himself the most fleeting moment of joy, and good, because he's a miserable fuck anyway) told me it "glorifies drug use". If he had watched it, he would understand it was meant to make fun of rich, shallow drug users, and that it did not AT ALL glamorize or glorify drug and alcohol abuse. I still love it.

These are not all of my British TV cross stitch pieces, and I have a lot in the pipeline too...

Scotland's Story

I have always known there is a lot of Scottish ancestry in my family, but recently, I found out that you can trace our roots right back to Robert the Bruce, first king of Scotland and free-er of the Scots from English rule, and that our ancestry is 61% or more Scottish. I have always loved Scottish things and people, and three of my very favorite bands are from Scotland- Cocteau Twins, Teenage Fanclub and Belle & Sebastian. My favorite Doctor is also Scottish- Mr. Peter Capaldi! We were also lucky enough to be able to spend a week in Scotland for our anniversary this year. It is the most magical place I have ever been. I cried when we had to come home. I cried this morning when I saw something I purchased in Scotland. I am homesick for a place I have never lived in. We will definitely be going back. 

 The point of all this is that I am very proud of my Scottish heritage and also that I found an Etsy shop called SonofaCrossStitch, and it has quite a few Scottish slang and insult cross stitch designs.  Here are some I have stitched up.

For more Scottish insults, check these out for starters (once you get past these, a lot of the websites have the same ones):

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/chew-mah-banger

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/scotland-now/21-best-scottish-insults-22931947

JobStitch

At my former job, I had a huge cubicle with which I decorated with many different cross stitch pieces. Now that I work from home, I have them hanging about in random places at home. I have several my current office and I have a couple of gallery walls around the house, so they live there now. Here are some of the cool pieces I used to have hanging up. BTW I suck at framing so... This first one I did ages ago. It's a Subversive Cross Stitch pattern.

That's why we divorced. She was a muggle. Next wife's got to be a politico.

If you have watched The Thick of It, you'll get that title and if not, you should watch it. On November 5th, 2020, I sat in front of the TV, watching the election unfold, sick to my stomach that we would have another 4 years of who you can barely call a human being playing at running the country. I stitched this up while watching. I was pleasantly surprised the next morning when he lost. HE LOST. The pattern was created by MeowKapowPatterns on Etsy.

Then the idiot took classified documents from the White House and hid them in his fucking TOILET. Pattern by Subversive Cross Stitch. You couldn't make this shit up.

My terrible satin stitching

 Now that I am getting back into embroidery, I want to try a little more "painting".  I think I have stayed away from getting back into it to much because now the trend with embroidery is to "paint" with the thread and I don't have the thread or the patience to fill everything in.  And then it makes me feel like "Wow, my crappy old line work is nothing compared to these super fancy ones".  I may have said this before...  anyway, I'm not sure confident in my satin stitch, so I thought I would practice.  

I did this one for Haylan, just for the hell of it.  Not a lot of satin stitch but it's a start.  The pattern is by MiNiceStitch on Etsy.  

Ode to My Little Sister

This post is dedicated to my little sister. I don’t get to see her NEARLY enough, and she's been on my mind today. She’s about 6 years younger than me and when we were kids, we were typical sisters. One minute, we were snuggled up together reading or watching TV, and the next minute, I was slamming her head in the door (TOTALLY on accident, I felt really horrible about that). 

We have the same twisted sense of humor and love for all things morbid. As adults, I can say I have never slammed her head in the door. And she is REALLY funny. I’m very proud of the woman she has become. She’s a badass mom, she’s very strong, and doesn’t take a lot of crap off of people. At the same time, she is kind and thoughtful, and overall has a good head on her shoulders. She has found a wonderful man to call her husband, and he takes good care of her, though she doesn’t really need taken care of. But I love that she can live the life she wants and not have to struggle for anything.

Now, back to that same twisted sense of humor- I have done several stitched pieces for her, some of them she has requested and some of them I just did for her. You know that meme with the “ERMAHGERD” girl? It’s something we have laughed at until we cried over the years, all of the different versions of it. So when I saw this, I HAD to make it for her.  She has assured me that this will always hang in her house!

I made this for her as a request. What’s funny is that she had it hanging in her fancy bathroom. I think that since they have purchased a house, her husband has asked her not to hang things like that up (I get it, I’m not offended. He thinks it’s funny, but he a lil fancy.) BUT it hung for a couple of years at least! Pattern is by KnitForVictory.

Then of course… ERMAHGERD ERNAMERNTS! Pattern by Steoch.

More Snarky Gifts

I made this one for my friend Karen, who is kind of a Karen. I found the pattern and copied it and since I was broke at the time and I didn't sell it, I didn't see the harm. Maybe that makes me a piece of shit. Whatever, bitches.

I got this one from Etsy and made it for my Granny. She was sparkly, so I put it in a sparkly frame. She has since passed away, and my parents moved into my grandparents' old house, and my mom, who is not a cross stitch aesthetic kind of lady, has kept it in the kitchen, which means the world to me. Pattern by Andwabisabi.

I found the Bill and Ted pattern on Pinterest and then I created the quote from an alphabet pattern I have. I didn't get a picture of it before I gifted it, and I also didn't iron it (obviously!), and this is the only picture I have of it. I can't get another because the person I made it for and I are no longer friends. I made her a few pieces, and I often wonder if she threw them out when we "broke up"... I hope not but if so, I get it. I'd rather have had them back but... whatever, bitches.

This is a quote from 30 Rock and it's accurate AF.  This was a gift to myself.  Pattern by BananyaStand.

A Murderable Offense

Pattern from Night Spirit Studio. I did this one back in 2019. I dyed the aida myself and I remember working on it with a friend. She said she wanted to do some cross stitching with me.  I got very excited, even though she wanted to stitch up a stupid quote from some stupid movie. She insisted she knew how to cross stitch already and was stitching it with all 6 strands and it just looked HORRIBLE. The fabric she cut was way too small and so she did a thing where she trailed the words down the side.  She said she was gonna give it to her boyfriend. And I was thinking "WTF why would you make something you know is garbage and give it as a gift?"  I said "I thought you liked him though..."  

What a fucking mess (the cross stitch, the now ex-friend, AND the relationship).  Anyway, not sure why I went on that hateful tangent but I really love this piece :)

Sept Slump

I'm tired and sort of blehhhh because I'm ready for autumn but autumn is not ready for me and it's hot and I hate life. Here are some cross stitches I've done in the past, though, that brought me joy. 

One of the only MAGAs I can get on board with... I remember stitching this up and posting it on Instagram and my metalhead friend Marco was like "No. Please don't". LOL I made this frame out of Perler beads as well because it was something I just stitched up randomly because I had to get my stitch fix like a junkie, and the fabric was too small for a frame.

Spoopy Stitches

It's always a good day for spooky stitches!! I have noticed an increase in the past years of spooky things being more acceptable. I do love that, and I find it really interesting, and I wonder why that is. I don't care enough to ponder. Here are some more spooky stitches from beyond the grave... well not really, but from the past (since that is ALL I used to do!)

I found this one on Pinterest as well.

Momma Moon

Pattern by mamawitch on Etsy

Random Smaller Stitches

Sometimes I have this urge to stitch, but I don't wanna do a big project, so I like to do little tinies. Here is a metal hand- Horns up!

Oh My God, I'm Back Agaaaain....

AHA! I'm back to do some more sporadic posting! Lots has changed, again. But for the good! I got a MUCH MUCH better job than the one I had last time. Better job, better location (work from home), and MUCH better pay. I've been here for about a year and a half. I'm often quite busy, so I don't have a lot of time to blog. However, I have had this in the back of my mind and I have wanted to pick it back up forever, so I will try my best! I have such sights to show you...

Butterfly Face

I am trying to get my hand back into embroidery.  As you can see from this one, my stitches are uneven and not very straight, but I think this will come back to me as I practice.  

This is one I just thought was kind of cool because she's a tattooed person and the butterfly was fun to do as well.  Pattern by MiNiceStitch on Etsy.  I finished her last night.